I would like to present my very first viewing of The Breakfast Club, in a stream-of-consciousness blog post.
Although I love movies and like to claim a good knowledge of the classics, this is one of the few that has escaped me up until this point in my life. And because I’ve heard every joke and reference this movie has to offer, I figure that my experience would be at least slightly interesting. I guarantee I will spend a good amount of time referencing Psych – see an upcoming blog post for more information on one of my all-time favorite shows – as the show is centered around two men who spend their lives reliving John Hughes movies. So, here we go (my mom is in on this adventure too, so she may come up once or twice).
“Don’t You Forget About Me” plays in the distance
I thought the monologue would be at the end.
Molly Ringwald is so pretty. She’s the reason I dyed my hair red. My mom just told me that Emilio Estevez is a preacher now and I am thoroughly shocked. It’s driving me crazy that almost the entire cast was on Psych at some point. Except Emilio.
I bet right now that the essays are going to be meaningful and symbolic in the end. Calling it.
My mom and I got in an argument about who Judd Nelson was on Psych and I missed something. Why is Judd Nelson peeing on the floor? I already like him and hate Emilio. I don’t know any character names though. I don’t think I like Molly Ringwald either. Too bad. I adore Pretty in Pink. I’m gonna flick Anthony Michael Hall in the nose.
I just realized where this clubs conversation is going because I sent a “We’re watching The Breakfast Club” text right when one of them said the word club ten times. At least, I assume it’s leading to Judd Nelson declaring his membership in the “breakfast club” as opposed to any academic clubs. Maybe not yet.
Now I know why Shawn is obsessed with Judd Nelson, but I’m paying close attention to the nostril-flaring in his honor. It is actually really ridiculous, so I’m pretty satisfied.
I like where the parent conversation is going. Connections are being made and I finally understand the “Would you like me to turn it up?” joke. Oh, and I know Brian’s name now. And Claire. Maybe they hadn’t said them up until now. This virginity conversation is getting really intense, so I’m guessing that it’s about to go down between Judd Nelson and Emilio. Holy crap, didn’t guess Emilio would win.
Knives are NOT allowed, Judd Nelson.
This janitor is freaking me out.
I think we’re about to have a whistle sesh.
Emilio and Ally Sheedy are gonna have a bonding moment and I’m excited. I think they end up getting married. Wow, Emilio is just putting it out there, and it’s really weird. Sheedy is not buying it.
So far, I’ve laughed out loud two times: when the door throws the chair, and the “his nuts would ride shotgun” line.
Alright, officially calling Molly Ringwald and Michael Anthony Hall as a couple. Poor lonely Judd Nelson.
How long are we going to watch the entire cast eat? Because this sugar and cereal sandwich is nauseating. Although I realize at this very second why Psych references this movie so much. Shawn Spencer = nicer version of Judd Nelson.
Are we getting dramatic music behind Judd Nelson’s family story? Oh, it was a buildup, never mind. Whoa, things got real serious real quick.
RUNNING MONTAGE I’VE BEEN WAITING SO LONG. Did the teacher just do a hop-skip? Uh oh, we have anarchy here. You shoulda listened to the kid who’s in detention every week. And now he’s sacrificing himself, what a guy. So many movie scenes make sense to me now. When did he change one of his shoes? Oh, his name is apparently John Bender. Now I know. I’m still gonna call him Judd Nelson.
Oh man. This teacher is really a jerk. STOP JUDD NELSON HE’S PROVOKING YOU, DON’T DO IT.
Is he talking about a poodle? This scene is gonna kill me. Is Molly Ringwald seriously considering her sexual identity now? That’s great. I think they’re all gonna get high now and I’m excited.
Is Ally Sheedy really the only one who’s not gonna do it? Holy crap Emilio, I literally JUST watched Footloose, calm down. This is awesome.
I think the janitor is about to save the day. I knew he was significant. Nope, never mind, taking a bribe.
I love all of these actors when they’re acting high. Especially Anthony Michael Hall. Emilio is just kind of buff. Regardless of whether or not he’s high. Oh, wait, here’s a real bonding moment for them.
I thought that I had seen the “they ignore me” scene redone in some movie, and I’ve been trying to figure out where, and then I realized that I saw it in a GIF set on Tumblr.
I like that Emilio immediately confirmed that Molly Ringwald is a tease. I love this conversation that’s happening right now, about her being a virgin.
Finally. Larry Lester’s buns. I have been waiting for this scene for forever. Wow, it’s so much more dark than I imagined it would be. Alright, dark isn’t the right word, but deep. Never thought that buttcheeks would be a dark subject.
I get it. I get why so many people love this movie. I relate to it. I can do that with my lipstick too.
Okay, for real though, this is actually really good. I love it. But I’m liking Judd Nelson less. I’m feeling Anthony Michael Hall more at this point.
It’s taking a turn for the emotional now. I’m getting a bit caught up in this whole seeing each other in the hallways conversation, because it’s probably the most relevant conversation anyone could ever listen to.
Alright, after having already watched Footloose, this is a lot of 80s dancing for one day. But a lot of other scenes make sense now. Like, every time they dance in Psych.
How did Judd Nelson’s hair stay so perfect this whole movie? Nostrils are still flared, but hair is fab.
Okay, the makeover is a BIT exaggerated. But I like the guys’ reactions. And I like what’s happening with Judd Nelson and Molly Ringwald.
Emilio. “What happened to you?” That is priceless. He’s cute though, so I guess I can let it slide. Did AMH just give himself a fist bump?
OKAY ICONIC LAST SCENE WITH THE SONG, I’M READY.
Only one earring? That doesn’t seem all too useful.
Wait a second. I know I had my club revelation earlier, but we didn’t address the breakfast part. Great. Is it just the fact that they had to be there early in the morning together, and that was their club? Hmm.
A Penniless Writer 