The five things you forgot about “Grease”

grease-01

I realized that there seems to be a lot of misconception surrounding this John Travolta classic: people seem to like it.

My posts have so far been all positive. I end my streak now with this all-in-good-fun criticism of Grease. Because, no matter how much you love Danny Zucko’s hips, you cannot tell me that there are no flaws in this movie. I would like to present a few of them, in order of least to most utterly ridiculous. Here are the five things you don’t remember (or maybe just tried to block out) about Grease.

The Moral

19-Distressing-Life-Lessons-From-GreaseMy biggest beef with this movie is the fact that, in the end, you find out that Danny has earned a varsity letter in track, which is a sign that he has been trying to change himself and become the kind of person Sandy would want to date, and he even wears it to the carnival. This is a huge step in the right direction, because it shows that he’s willing to let his friends see that he’s doing things that aren’t necessarily “cool”. And then Sandy shows up in leather, and it’s all gone. He throws away the varsity jacket (literally and figuratively), because if she’s willing to change for him, screw changing for her!

“Beauty School Dropout”

This scene actually happened.

And there is almost literally no reason for it. Not to mention, all of the backup dancers are the Pink Ladies. So it’s not even like they got some extras for this scene, they just threw the costumes onto the actresses that were already on set and then hired Frankie Avalon to sing to Frenchie about how unsuccessful she’s going to be in life. Come to think of it, the whole message of this movie isn’t all too encouraging: you shouldn’t pursue your dreams because they don’t make sense, and to get people to like you, you have to be willing to change yourself entirely and forget that whole being a virgin thing.

The Words to “Greased Lightning”

My posts are completely PG, but this point is going to take some profanity to make. Do you remember the words to “Greased Lighting”? They’re really something. I mean, it’s the most iconic song in the movie, and it’s an iconic scene. Those hips – mm. I’d like to bring some lines from this iconic song to your attention:

Greased_Lightning-You know that ain’t no shit/ We’ll be gettin’ lots of tit/ In Greased Lightning

-Go Greased Lightning/ You are supreme/ The chicks will cream/ for Greased Lightning

-You know that I ain’t braggin’/ She’s a real pussy wagon/ Greased Lightning

I remember loving this movie when I was little – we watched it at the rehearsal for my 2nd grade talent show. And it wasn’t until I was 16 that I realized what this song was about. Oh, and can I also mention the fact that Danny is sexually riding a chrome engine that just descends from the ceiling?

The Timeline

grease_5236I have yet to understand how the timeline is supposed to make sense in this movie. We barely make it a month into school, and then all of the sudden it’s the end of the year and it’s like no one has talked to anyone else since the race.I mean seriously, does it make any sense that the ladies don’t know if Rizzo is actually pregnant, the guys don’t know that Danny has been running track, and Danny doesn’t know that Sandy went completely hot?

The Very End

I would like to know if anyone remembers how the movie ends. Not the song that most people can’t quite sing but still try. No, the part where Danny and Sandy get into Danny’s car (in the middle of the carnival), drive through the crowd of people, and then lift off and fly away. Yeah, they fly away.

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